if you read youll judge:

07:24 pm

i do this to myself, i purposefully look for cracks in my sidewalk so i can tear them open, so i always fear change, so i never know where im going, so im always stuck the same,...................................................................................................................................................................................................jhhjkhjdasdwqdsadadb ljhaue h
fffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

12:36 am

hello friends
my new name
is evil_town
follow me if you wish

02:52 am

amazing night
great hot-tub convo
jen and beder
i could literally talk to either for days and not notice time fleeing
i have to put HST in this post
after reading him
and understanding the way he thinks
then watching fear and loathing
i could see HIM experiencing all that
it was nice, nay, super great amazing wonderful, just seeing tori again
its been long


"we were hidding from the rain
and the thunder
ive been staring out for days
as i wonder alone here"

after tonight...
all i want is to be around people like jen
just talking
i want that downtown life


i like my music the same way i like my convenience stores
24/7

fuck now im going to rant about something
'How am I not myself?'
my favorite line from one of my favorite movies, i heart huckabees
really, how am i not myself?
why do i try to sub-consciencly filter out my thoughts
a perverted purifier if you will
ive definately slowed this process down in recent years, but its still not at a level im happy with
when im meeting someone new, its like im not myself
because instead of saying anything im usually trying to analyze them quickly
i want to know right off the bat if this i going to be someon that i will (a) talk to again (b) talk to at all (c) relate to in a meaningful way
i think i can read people pretty good
i can tell when somethings up
but, im straying
i want this
this wilson
the one typing this
the one that thinks of all this and writes all this and dreams all THIS...
to be the same one that you'll see outside liveJournal
i try to be the same
how am i not myself?
this/that
is what
you
got/get

04:28 am

"every day do something you cant do."
-beder

Reassuring words from a drunken friend

04:41 pm

keep my head up.

02:49 pm

its almost been a year since i was formally introduced to the beauty that is liveJournal
to commemorate the ending of one year and the beginning of another ive decided to close up shop on decom_poser, while i wont be deleting it, i wont be adding to it either
so as of now im thinking of a new name
and by oct 12 it will be done
so if you're someone who is interested in following me during my departure, stay connected

02:43 pm - so you wanna be a cop

theres a thin blue line
between the love and the hate
and if your soul choose to cross it
you're a nazi for the state

01:01 pm

A blackout: they peel him off of the floor
Frenetic Amnesic
He's delirious, he thinks he's been here before
Frenetic Amnesic
No recall, not one familiar face
Frenetic Amnesic
The moulded man has been completely erased
Frenetic Amnesic

Everybody's after me
You could be the enemy
You seem too happy to reveal yourself
There's no resentment here

Frenetic Amnesic
Completely in the dark,
Try to pave a way with no chance and no reason
Not knowing who you are...
Looking for the truth it ain't there
You can't believe them

Everybody's after me
You could be the enemy
You seem too happy to reveal yourself
There's no resentment here
What you see is what you get
Two seconds later I forget
You seem too happy to reveal yourself
There's no resentment here

No recall there's no familiar face
Frenetic Amnesic
The moulded man has been completely erased
Frenetic Amnesic
Frenetic Amnesic

02:27 pm

i owe jenna a flower for what she did last night

07:15 pm - double-take at what makes her the apple of your eye

twist and squeeze dry the fruits of desire
want want want
dry, hot romance
moon lit only dreams
force unmoving feelings from dark pits
the warmest arms
holding you more secure then thought possible
slow touch me
only lips, moving
spelling it all out
promise me you'll never promise
one step fowards
two steps back on an electric sidewalk
unobstructive view of something fleeting
very soft colours?
keep the music playing
when you're gone

12:46 am

You scored as Labret Piercing. You probably intimidate a whole lot of people without really meaning too. If people could just get past the many tattoos, piercings, and sideburns I'm sure they'd love you. Or still be scared, who knows. </td> Lip Piercing 100% Labret Piercing 100% Dirty Piercings 80% Cartilage Piercing 70% Tongue Piercing 60% Nose Piercing 50% Nipples 50% Earlobe Piercing 20% Belly Button Piercing 20% What Piercing Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

02:20 pm - my dream

im in prison
but you wouldnt know it if you were there
im eating cookies that a pretty nice gaurd had given me
jen krivel and scott are there
and to pass the time
im circling a bunch of directional maps with a marker
apparently there from grace because scott keeps saying that grace said he could do a couple
then im in a field with jen
actaully, it looked like huntington park
and andrew grogan is there
and jens explaining to me how his head couldnt have just rotated all the way around
when a phone rings
for some reason, i KNOW its grace
but thats when i wake up because my phone was ringing...it was scott though

01:19 am

im going on a picnic and im going to bring:
anestetic
a pet spider
a lot of porn
a gerbil
a jerry can of gasoline
tobasco sauce
lippas car
maple syrup
every season of baywatch
a veitnamies prostitute
nicholas cage
some heroin
a mouse pad with tony danzas face
the right droid for the job
a fabrijeh egg
charles manson

01:17 am

drunk not im
deads not punk
not i love being in hate
union of the state
in believe stuck lie there is
to understand try me

12:13 am - if im drunk, how did i log on to live journal, huh?

this is definately not the JD'S talking
but jen krivel and jenna ash are the only 10 out of 10 girls i know
meaning that their perfect in every way imagineable
im fgriends with 7's 8's and even 9's (in my books) but jen krivel and jenna ash are the only 10 out of 10's i know
thank you and good nitghjt
dont forget to tip your waiters
ill be here all week
276
276893

10:13 pm

Without a window to see through,
I did my time, in here without you,
Slept on the floor down in the LEC,
Meet me back home and do the mocking.

It seems like misery loves misery,
My favourite songs they keep me company,
So many memories come down to this,
I maybe be lost but i'm not hopeless.

I heard that sound a mile away
I heard that sound a mile away
All those things i wish that i could say
I heard that sound a mile away
A mile away

Came in like static off the tv,
This kinda thing over goes easy,
I meant to tell you but you were gone,
I tried to get it right, i got it all wrong

I heard that sound a mile away
I heard that sound a mile away
All those things i wish that i could say
I heard that sound a mile away
A mile away

Sat outside the show,
With nowhere else, nowhere else to go
Don't say "can't see"
It sure does sound, get to me

(Whoa oaaa) Na Na Na Na Na (Whoa oaaa)
Don't save yourself....get to me
(Whoa oa) Na Na Na Na Na
Get to you....get to me

I heard that sound a mile away
I heard that sound a mile away
All those things i wish that i could say
I heard that sound a mile away
A mile away
A mile away

01:25 am - default sensory equipment malfuntion

should i be scared that while i sleep, the brain is not 'officially' off?
dreams can be impossible, how can your brain be relaying this information to you? why? how can imagination be so powerful? you can create something. some dreams you can SEE. see every colour. you can feel. feel your heart beat or a distinctive texture. why only in a period of 'shut-down time', while the rest of the body is completely helpless...stationary...
that has to be a part of the brain that you dont have access to while your awake
so......

02:00 pm - another fucked dream....

i remember less about his one then the last one i recorded
3 evil forces had gotten together
satan
alfred E. neuman (the mad magazine guy)
????

i was one of the last remaining rebels
i think the majority of the rebels were fictional literary characters

the part i remember...
we, the rebels, had just lost the talking cat to two of satans men
one was half of a black bush and i forget the other
but the kidnapped the talking cat in what looked like a buick


oh shit i just remembered ...
right after that
...i guess i was going to rescue her (the talking cat)
and im walking down this grassy hill, its night
and im almost stepping on all these frogs, which are lying dead all over the ground
some random old people walk by me
then i emerge at this clearing
somehow i know that this will be filled with confrontation
but the battle that has yet to ensue, feels like its been faught before

????.....somehow (my?) huge fucking spaceship is suddenly overhead
and i get to choose what engine i want, like a video game

then i woke up

03:08 am

i met tommy chong today
dt at the toronto int. film fest.
i saw this documentary called A.K.A. Tommy Chong
about him going to jail and pot and lots of crazy shit
and he was there!
he sat 2 rows behind me juring the showing
he signed my ticket and shook my hand
it was sureal
worlds most notorious pot-head
i shook the hand that was holding joints for 50 years
what....an....honor

02:16 pm - RX Queen -Deftones

I won't stop following you
now help me pray for
the death of everything new
then we'll fly farther
cause you're my girl
and that's alright
if you sting me
I won't mind
we'll stop to rest on the
moon and we'll make a fire
I'll steal a carcass for you
then feed off the virus
cause you're my girl
and that's alright
if you sting me
I won't mind
now look at em
look at em now
look at em sting
I see a red light in June
and I hear crying
you turn newborn baby blue
now we're all the virus